S,
I don't know how to cope with this. I don't know how to say goodbye. That first day in 7th grade that you invited me to be a part of your group - that sealed our fate. You were clearly meant to be a part of my life, and I yours.
I remember talking on the phone every night - my mom used to say she would need to get the phone surgically removed from my ear - after we had just spent the entire day together in school. We seemed to always have more to talk about. We used to talk every Thursday when Knot's Landing was on.....we'd talk through all the commercials then sit in silence while we watched the show. As an adult that doesn't even make sense to me but we did it. Every week. We had our stupid petty pre-teen girl fights where we wouldn't talk for awhile but they always blew over and I couldn't tell you what a single one of those fights were about. We had so many LONG conversations about nothing. Remember the one about the sighing sound you make after a good laugh? Every time one of us stopped laughing and made that sound we started again. Our cheeks and our bellies hurt so bad from laughing for hours on end - I don't think I've ever laughed like that again. We had entire conversations with no words - talking with our mouths full of spaghetti....but understood each other perfectly.
When we snuck out of my house to walk to see D in the middle of the night. Why? No idea but it was fun till I got caught on the fence we tried to jump and ruined my shirt. You laughed so hard and I was so mad. Probably more embarrassed than anything but looking back at that we've laughed about it many times. So many more stories, so many more good times and memories. I will cherish them forever.
Then you got a license and a car....oh the fun we had. You were such a crazy stalker ... and I was such an enabler :) The trouble we caused.....oh man - best times of my life. It's a miracle we never got arrested or hurt.
Then somehow we lost touch - I'm sure that had to do with my fucked up life at the time. But when we talked again it was like we never stopped. It wasn't that long that we didn't talk - maybe a year or two. But that first day we talked on the phone for 4 hours. I had to get call waiting because of you.
Remember when we both ended our long term relationships? To cheer ourselves up we decided to go to a movie. We drove to the theater without even knowing what was playing. There was a choice between two movies. I don't remember the second choice but we chose Leaving Las Vegas cause we figured a movie in Vegas would have to be fun, right? HA!!! That movie turned us both into water fountains. You cried for HOURS.....and I have never, ever seen that movie again. And I never will.
George Webb's in the middle of the night before we were legal to drink....bars when we were. You have been my constant friend. And I couldn't have asked for a better one.
Then you decided to get married and move 1500 miles away. That SUCKED!!! For both of us. But we still talked every day. You got pregnant (I'll never forget that phone call), you ended up having too many problems for a marriage to surive and got divorced. We talked less often when you had a baby to take care of but we were still there for each other.
Fast forward a few years...my kids, my marriage...both of us going through a lot to get there. And now this. I stopped this post before it was done. And I went to you. And now it all seems so pointless. I'm lost. I had to say good te forever to the only person that ever really got me. And now I'm so confused. I need to try to be happy. I think I know how to do that but it won't be easy. And maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I just fucked everything up. Maybe I need to get my head out of my ass. What I really need is to talk to you. I love you forever my friend. That will never change.
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